BFF's

Funny you meet someone and you find yourself attracted, close your mouth I'm a girl he's a guy.
But attracted in a weird yet awesome way... You find you have so many things in common and everyday you find even more.
You talk about your days, your life plans your blunders and your serious fuck ups... yes I said Fuck ups.
At one point you each think wow this could be so amazing and yet at this point you both know the other one needs a shoulder some one to listen and not judge... more on this later

who am I

who am I
I mean really
this question was posed to me this evening
My BFF: who is the real you
My BFF: lol
Gypsy Hearted: Multi faceted
My BFF: no kidding
Gypsy Hearted: The real me is a chevy lovin, coke drinkin, good ole girl who is just as much at home in 501 jeans and bare feet as she is in a cocktail dress and heels
My BFF: lol your to much
Gypsy Hearted: she has two dream cars
My BFF: ....
Gypsy Hearted: 58 apache or a 59 cadi

That was the jest of the conversation
Who am I really...
I don't know
really...

Been awhile since I came here to release whats on my mind...
Been awhile for many things... Another 4th of July has past... 
Just thought I would throw that in there after reading what I wrote in a letter to you four years ago... And look at us now its July 2010...
Here we are now you in what use to be our home now your house, the girls and I living here... 
You wrapped in in guy shows and us out in the world... it cuts to the core to know I forsaw that so long ago... 
Maybe we do speak things into existence when we put it out there into the universe or maybe it was just our destiny... 
Either way I miss how we were once upon a time...
I didn't see the Stroke coming... 
I didn't see that change...
It would have been nice to have a little forewarning there. 
I'm alright for the most part...
I'm getting better daily at masking the things that aren't perfect.

Nietzsche said "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
If this is true why after all these years am I not a stronger woman...
Even in the bad times you were the sun, the moon, the light of my life

You however have moved on... And I must move forward...
I'm working on it, though its difficult to get my head straight... to wrap my heart around all this change even if I am the one who initiated it all it wasn't the outcome I truly wanted.

what were the lyrics to the song...
Time it was and what a time it was
I have a photograph
Preserve your memories
There all thats left you

Elemental

Elemental

Air I am,

Fire I am,
Water, Earth, and Spirit I am!
Earth is my Body,
Water is my Blood,
Air is my Breath,
And Fire my Spirit!

Love, Steady and Solid

Love

Steady and Solid

You build your castle
Stone by precious stone
a labor of love
a labor of faith
Blue printed only by the stars
twinkling in the Samhain sky

An estate

Built in a long ago dream

But I wonder
a place for you to settle

This home of old
Old as the stone that forms it
as old as the sands of time

Used in its foundation
Sturdy and solid

First rain

Will surely wash
the steps from beneath the structure
leaving a chaotic pattern of cards
Strewn about
in a soggy fortune

Love;
Let us build on the rocks
of who we truly are
for they are rough, wild
and uneven
Sturdy and solid

To be washed not away.

Tears

Two tears fell down this cheek
Tired and weak they fell on the glass
she waited today, she waited last night
No one came, losing belief in any one to come
The glass dissolved, weary and poignant
with two tear drops claiming desire

If you should return
Here I will be waiting
A place where dreams intersect
A place where love never dies,
Sadness is fought
begging for hope.

I pray for sanity
Where I can close my eyes
Dreams of you here with me
Dreams that we aren't alone
That we aren’t left mute

You didn’t for me wait

And I don’t wait for you.
Did you for me cry?

Did you for me morn?Don’t you cry my dear
know I was washed away
to another world

but wait for me wherever you are
I will become the breeze
and you will never alone be,
never again alone.

written January 2006

March 30

Turn the page

turn the page again
don't hesitate
For this story will end
Now I take chances
and you have your romances
we are nothing
in this scheme
background activity
fade into the darkness
unnoticed - untaken
by the eye
no one saw us come here
no one saw us fly
separated amongst the clouds
never to be found
what was it I was looking for
maybe I was never sure
just what it was
after all
somebody had to take the fall

The final call is defeat
was my heart was the last to beat
we fall in perfect symmetry
against the wind
I fall with thee

They shoot
we fall
we die
we once had it all
I don't cry

January 17, 2006

4:54 PM